Difficult Positions

After school today, I attended a groundbreaking New Teacher Reception sponsored by the district. I call it groundbreaking because I've heard of such things as new teacher receptions in more affluent districts, but never in this one. My principal was pretty surprised by it, too. She offered to go with me as a sign of support, so I agreed. As I told her, "I'm too curious to pass it up." I found it interesting, however, that the invitation listed only the name of the plaza downtown but did not include directions. In fact, I could not find any mention of the plaza online and if my principal had not gone with me, I never would have found it. As she said, "They picked a pretty obscure location." My response was, "Welcome to our City, now good luck surviving your time here and even finding your way!" I expected to find only a few dishes of cheese and crackers and was surprised to find trays and trays of catered finger foods. Of course, I wasn't surprised that none of the food was warm (I had a quesadilla with cheese that had never even been melted), but the wine offset this a little bit.

Without much delay the state-imposed administrator welcomed us and went on at length. He thanked us for teaching in the district and encouraged us to stay. He promised us we'd be the best district in the State and eventually the nation, which is a ridiculous thing to say when we are just barely surviving. He asked to talk, to tell him what changes we thought needed to happen, that he was there to listen. Except then he went on to introduce other big wigs in the district and on the school board all of whom he introduced incorrectly in some way. He got everyone's name right, but sometimes not their position and often not how long they'd been in the district. It was a little embarrassing, I thought, and since I'm new to the district myself it's hard to tell exactly what the climate is and how much support he has as the "boss."

When he finally stopped talking and was "ready" to listen, only a few people spoke up. I had much to say but no idea how to say it and where exactly to direct it, so I listened. One teacher spoke up and asked, "When can we expect our signing bonuses?" He responded, "We'll make good on our promises, hopefully on November 30th for all of the teachers in difficult positions." It was silent when he said this. The signing bonus is a thorn in my side already and before I knew it I blurted out, "We all have difficult positions." He didn't respond but the boss of all the high school principals who was standing behind me said, "He meant to say all teachers who are in difficult-to-fill positions like math and special education." Still, my principal knew how much that kind of disregard hurts me. As an English teacher, I'm a "dime a dozen," yet math teachers get $10,000 as a signing bonus and I get a probationary contract. The message is that I am dispensable. They are valuable. I almost started crying. So much for the district's attempt to honor ALL of its teachers.

Pay Day

I have heard that some teachers cry when they receive their first paycheck. The monetary value of the work they've done does not compute and they weep. I may be off the mark, but when I received my paycheck today I wanted to do cartwheels through the staff room. For the last fifteen months I have been living on student loans which I've supplemented with occasional substitute jobs, proctoring SATs, and part-time holiday work at REI. I have stopped short of donating plasma by asking my parents for small "loans" here and there. I've been making it through the last two months on $100 a week! So, while I certainly felt like my 15 hour days should be compensated in a much bigger way than my paycheck shows, I'm also delighted to be making money at teaching -- finally. Last year was like volunteer teaching as a student teacher and I resented that any classroom supplies I had to buy were essentially accruing interest.

Despite getting paid for the first time this year, today was a rough one. I actually said this to my students: You know. I could quit my job today. I got paid. Yeah, I think I could make it another few months on the money I got today. I could actually quit! What do you think about that?

They got very quiet, for the first time. I lucked out. They could have cheered at the idea of never seeing me again, but they didn't. I'll be frank: I did consider quitting my job. I am tired of my students. Here's why:

A student who I see three periods of the six period day (English, Advisory, and PE) wore an afro wig to school today. I should have confiscated it immediately, but decided to ignore it. Instead of working on revising his autobiographical essay, he shoves the afro wig down his pants, walked around the room, and flaunted his fake pubic hair. He was written up for sexual harassment just yesterday! When I tried to take the wig away (after he took it out of his saggy pants, of course), we got into a ridiculous tug of war and I eventually gave up the cause though walked away with strings of curly black hair threaded through my key lanyard. This is so frustrating. I want to help my students become better writers. I am tired of trying to build a civilization.

And now I'm home on a Friday night with the remnants of a bad cough, money in my pocket, and no where to spend it (except rent and student loans). I'm looking down the barrel of an evening of grading and a weekend of more grading and planning. I'm doling out F's and preparing for the onslaught of complaints next week when report cards hit. It won't matter that I spent three hours of my sick day calling students with last minute reminders to get their work in or fail. It will be my fault in their eyes.

At the end of all of this, I don't think they paid me enough!